Let’s get this straight: I love democracy. But you know what I love even more? Not having to put in the effort. Being an active participant in a democratic society demands that you be informed, and being informed means knowing what’s going on and how things work. I have no idea what TWUSA does and I don’t want to have to learn. I haven’t learned a single thing since my first year, and honestly, the past few years haven’t been that bad. I don’t want learning to come and mess up that vibe. That’s why I think it’s best we completely overturn the student government.
I know everyone is bound to have some questions about this plan, so let me address your concerns right here and now:
Q: Do you have an alternate proposal for what we should do?
A: Not my department. Ask a POLS major or something.
Q: This is a terrible idea.
A: Not a question, but you know what else is a terrible idea? Spending my time learning about the inner workings of the student association when I could be doing literally anything else. Do you have any idea how many grilled cheese sandwiches I could make in the time it takes me to learn about whatever it is that TWUSA does? How many memes I could look at? How many times I could open Word to start writing a paper and then immediately get distracted?
Q: Have you even tried to learn what TWUSA does?
A: Yes, but “ombudsman” is a scary word and I stopped as soon as I encountered it.
In conclusion, I refuse to learn what TWUSA does, and I don’t think I should have to. Learning is a scam and ignorance is power, and if we have that power, do we even really need student government? Abolishing TWUSA is really the only reasonable thing we can do in this situation.