Every year amidst the gloom and doom of February comes an oh-so-joyous occasion that lifts the spirits of culture junkies everywhere. We’re not talking about National Grapefruit Month, but rather the Academy Awards—a celebrity affair so extravagant and over the top that you look cheap if your red carpet gown isn’t custom-made and accessorized with a hundred thousand dollars-worth of diamonds. Prepare yourself for another three-hour event that is as emotionally exhausting as some of the performances nominated this year. You’ll laugh awkwardly at the host’s monologue, yawn during the 10-minute long speeches, and of course cry when some adorable underdog humbly accepts the award for Best Foreign Film. Here are a couple of predictions we recently chit-chatted about online just to make that night of glitz and glam and little less overwhelming for you!
KAITIE SIMONSON: I guess I will start . . .
ANDREW STEWART: NO I WANT TO START! Well, here we are again. Can you believe it’s been a year since we last did this?
KS: My how the time flies when you should be graduating but instead stick around for an unnecessary fifth year, right?
AS: I wouldn’t know anything about that. Now stop wasting time. The readers are here for Oscar predictions and that’s what they’re going to get! ONWARD!
KS: You’re not going to make this easy for me are you? Let’s begin with best original screenplay.
AS: I’d love to see it go to Tarantino. Django Unchained was a blast. It’s got some strong competition though, with Zero Dark Thirty and Moonrise Kingdom. I don’t think Flight or Amour really have a chance here, but I could be wrong.
KS: Zero Dark Thirty is too politically controversial for the academy. No one can beat Tarantino when it comes to script writing these days. It’s his to lose.
AS: What about Best Adapted Screenplay? It’s a much tougher category.
KS: I think it could go to Lincoln or Argo, but I would prefer the latter.
AS: It’ll probably be Lincoln. With twelve nominations, that film is going to get a lot of love. And let’s just skip Best Supporting Actress, since Anne Hathaway has a million percent chance of winning it.
KS: I would happily stake my life on that claim.
AS: If only Best Supporting Actor was that easy. I honestly don’t know who the favourite would be here. I’m tempted to say Tommy Lee Jones, because of Lincoln, but...
KS: Tommy Lee Jone is unfortunately the supposed favourite. I myself am a die-hard Philip Seymour Hoffman fan, but regrettably he’s been overshadowed.
AS: Personally, I’d love to see Christoph Waltz win. He’s just so much fun.
KS: Waltz just has this way about him, I tell ya!
AS: Oh, we should throw in a joke about how he should “Waltz away with the award.” That would be HILARIOUS!
KS: Best actress? I don’t want to say it, but I think Emanuelle Riva for Amour is gonna beat out the brilliant Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty.
AS: Really? I can’t see the Academy giving out an award this big to an unknown French actress. Chastain and Lawrence have already outperformed Riva in all of the Critics Association Awards. I think it’s down to the two of them, and as great as Chastain was, I just love Lawrence too much. She gets my vote.
KS: Don’t you remember when the once unknown Marion Cotillard won for La Vie En Rose? I want Chastain to win and Lawrence to be my best friend.
AS: Best actor?
KS: It’ll go to Daniel Day-Lewis. That man is too talented for his own good. Of course I want the underdog (ie: Bradley Cooper) to get it. I don’t think a movie like Silver Linings Playbook comes along for an actor like him too often.
AS: Agreed. Day-Lewis pretty much has a lock on the category at this point.
KS: Director? I know what you’re going to say so just give it to me straight.
AS: I think that Ben Affleck is pretty much guaranteed to win. Oh wait, he wasn’t nominated. Guess it’s Spielberg.
KS: Well played. And now for the big event [insert drum role here]… best picture!
AS: LES MISERABLES! Ha just kidding! Everything seems to be pointing towards Lincoln, but…I don’t know. I think Argo can still pull off an upset here. In fact, many people are actually expecting it to. I’m not sure if a film that wasn’t even nominated for Best Director has ever won before, but there’s got to be a first time for everything.
KS: If Ben Affleck isn’t going to be nominated for Best Director then he sure as hell better have the chance to get up on that stage and accept the award for Best Picture as a producer.
AS: How could anyone resist Affleck AND Clooney? I’m just not sure it’s possible.
KS: In my dreams it is . . .