What’s really behind the ‘stache.
A militaristic mentality may seem excessive when concerning moustaches but that is not too far off from how guys feel about the highly sought after facial hair. This may come as a surprise to some after how far the male species has evolved. Yet, despite centuries of vigorous female classical conditioning to bring us to the sophisticated debonair specimens that are known today as the male species, remnants of our hair covered, head bashing ancestor’s run in our DNA. But instead of using clubs to hit each other over the head when we disagree we take each other to court. Sexual rivalries now duke it out with personality, charm, and wit instead of brawn. And whoever get’s the biggest steak, well that may have to resort to more primitive measures. However, the stache is one outlet that allows even the most suave gentleman to display his male dominance.
The moustache is modern society’s wooden club. Forget weapons or fists, this should be the age of progression not concussions, so naturally man would turn to facial hair to display prowess and dominance. It is not by mere coincidence a pristine curled moustache looks like two rippling, hairy biceps. It is the silent message that tells other males this is how accomplished and good I am at life, so you had better not cross me.
Take no shave November, a woman’s best friend, for example. This month long manspirational moustache growathon for prostate cancer awareness sees boys drop off within the first week, men persevere with pleasure till the end, and legends move into the next realm known as duster December. It is a classic dance of natural selection where the males show each other what they have got hiding behind their scruffy exterior and of course an excuse to not shave. Unfortunately, it is an all too brief and infrequent moment out of the year; a year where facial hair is not widely celebrated but suppressed.
All too often a boy will take a noble step towards upholding the weight of manliness and let his stache grow only to be met with appalling hostility. Of course this does not come from fellow males, on the contrary they celebrate the transition from adolescent to manhood. Interjections of disgust, if any, are generally received from the toughest critics in the world of facial hair. These critics are those of the female gender.
The scratchy, dirty, and caterpillar like moustaches of early stachehood hinder many women from being receptive to our glorious facial hair. This does however raise a serious concern. There are not enough manstaches in this world. As a result there is a growing obsession with artificial mustaches. What can only be explained as women trying to fill the very evident void of mustaches in the world, women everywhere are taking on the role of men. From moustache sticks to mustache finger tattoos the female fantasy of a world where every male has a mighty mustache is turning into a pandemic. What can be labeled as no less than an escapism movement is the result of a few influential men and their mustaches.
Einstein, Nietzsche, Tom Selleck, and Ron Swanson, to name a few, are icons in their respective professions. They have contributed significantly to the world’s progress and yet what are they really known for? When we think of these titans the first thing that comes to mind is not their accomplishments; instead we see a moustache with a man behind it. It is not the man behind the moustache but rather the moustache in front of the man. What starts out as a desire to be like the man turns into a fantasy to be like the stache. However, instead of being like the statche we must remember whom we are all called to be like.
Perhaps the lack of moustaches, despite our fascination, in society is attributed to what could be labeled as a contemporary extension of boyhood. Maturity is not only lacking on the surface but within. However, we already have the template needed to fix this. The face that projected wisdom and truth was fastened in holy facial hair. So, do not lose faith boys. God wants to bless us with burly staches and if we strive to grow in Him, He will sow one so mighty for us. Grow the moustache of your heart, soul, and mind, with all your strength then not only will we reflect Him inward but outwardly as well. We will go from boys of faith to men in Christ. Growing divine masculinity.