Confessions of a weirdo
Reflections of the good ol' craze.
1) I had an outfit when I was n kindergarten that consisted of a bejeweled crop top and attached leggings. The bejeweling was to die for, but I hated the bottoms (leggings weren’t really in yet) so I just wore the top and wrapped the pants around my neck like a scarf. I still totally defend this fashion decision.
2) I got all of my hair cropped off in second grade and was quite upset about it. We had a rather extensive dress-up box at my house that even had a few wigs. One day I just chopped off all the hair on one of the wigs and attached it to my own ponytail. I don’t want to say that I was the first person ever to get extensions, but I will take the title if it’s offered.
3) I got what I like to refer to as “gum surgery” while I had braces back in my preteens. It was because I had a tooth on the roof of my mouth. Sexy, I know. They put some kind of a rubberized plug up there to stop the bleeding and stitched it up real tight so it would hold. I headed back to school after it was done and somewhere midway through a game of rugby (boys and female gym teacher versus girls, obviously) I found myself ripping out the plug with my own bare hands. I couldn’t stop and the blood came gushing. I bet it made the boys go crazy.
4) When I was 5 years old my favorite movie was Grease. I knew all the lines to all of the songs and absolutely no clue what they meant. I used to walk down the street loudly proclaiming and singing to myself “look at me I’m Sandra Dee, lousy with VIRGINITY!” My mom and grandmother caught me doing this one-day and I didn’t get to watch that movie for many, many years after that.
I was a bit of a bully in my elementary school days and there was no one I liked to pick on more than ‘lil Danny. He was hopelessly in love with me (probably still is, amirite?) and I told him that if he licked my spit off the ground I would go on a date with him. He didn’t do it. We didn’t date.