This is our year!
A purely scientific look at Stanley's stats.
You may be a Canucks fan. That's OK, I guess, but a little too mainstream don't you think? Where is your creativity? Do you want to really stand out among the rest and be known for your originality? It's time to cheer for the Leafs.
And what better time than now to do it--because this is the year that the Toronto Maple Leafs are going to win Lord Stanley’s Cup. All those other years when we predicted it, we were just kidding. This year crowds of blue and white fans will swarm Yonge Street in jubilant celebration--and not for the Blue Jays.
You may think I am just a desperate fan hoping for some final relief from the relentless nagging of your typical Canucks fan (or really a fan of any of the other 29 teams). However, I have some hard mathematics to back this up. In 1967, the last time the Leafs won the cup, Johnny Bower was the goalie. If you take his jersey number (42) and add it to the current captain Dion Phaneuf’s (3) you get 45. But it’s 46 years since they won cup, you say? Ah, but you have forgotten the Great Lockout of 2005 when the cup never left its perch in the Hockey Hall of Fame. To be honest, I’m not really sure why this wasn’t observed before. Numbers never lie.
If you think that is just a bit of hocus pocus mathy magic, let me put it to you another way. There are seven Canadian NHL teams. With a brief look at the history books, the following facts will become apparent:
- The Montreal Canadians were the last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup. Yes, it was 20 years ago, but they’ve had their chance
- Between 2004 and 2006, Calgary, Edmonton, and Ottawa all took turns losing in the Finals. That’s three straight chances and they all blew it. They don’t deserve it.
- Vancouver is still recovering from a Stanley Cup loss. I don’t think the cop cars can handle an actual win yet.
- Winnipeg? Well they should just be happy they got their team back, if they want to truly feel like they have an NHL team, they need to wait a few more years before they even make it to the Finals.
That leaves the hockey gods but one team from the Great White North to shine fondly upon: the Toronto Maple Leafs. So while you may stand by your overrated Chicago or Iginlified Pittsburgh right now, don’t come complaining to me when you trip near the finish line over a root of the Mighty Maple Tree.