MSN Can't Buy Me Love
It’s safe to say that from a young age, I have been boy crazy. It’s important to note that even though I always had these huge crushes, I wouldn’t actually talk to the boys. This all changed with MSN. I was one of those kids who would sit online for hours talking to my friends that I had just seen all day at school. When I was in grade 7, there was this one boy that I thought was the only guy on earth. We would type back and forth for hours on MSN, but never actually talk in real life. It was a wild, endless game of cat and mouse in who-will-type-‘hey’-first. A virtual chemistry safe from the claws of in-person awkwardness. A few weeks after our “relationship” began, there was a school dance. I was going to the dance, but was disappointed because my special MSN friend couldn’t come because he was at a basketball game. I was determined to still have a good time, so I danced around in what I’m sure was the most awkward way possible to Cotton Eyed Joe and Hey Baby with my friends. The last slow song came on: Just a Dream by Nelly. By some miraculous timing, my MSN friend arrived right at the beginning of the song. My girlfriends made a tunnel with their arms, he walked through it, and we slow danced with our arms locked for a solid 2.5 minutes. After that, our MSN relationship really heated up. I remember even sending him a heart emoticon— quite scandalous for a 12 year old.
A few weeks after our MSN relationship began, I went to school on a muddy spring day wearing blue flowered sparkly capri pants made out of windsuit material (I know you’re all wondering… the answer is La Senza Girl). Later that day during recess, all the boys in grade 7 called me over to their little group where they were standing. In the middle of the circle stood my MSN boyfriend. We started talking, and more people gathered around. When it seemed like everyone in the school was listening, he proceeded to tell me that “it was over.” I’m pretty sure I didn’t fully acknowledge the fact that he had just dumped me in front of the entire school, because, unfortunately, the first thing my confused twelve-year-old brain told me to do was chase him. I thought of myself as a pretty fast runner, and I was sure that I was going to catch him. However, the grass field that we were running in was completely saturated with water, and just as I was beginning to catch up with him we both rounded a corner. We turned, I saw his feet beginning to slip, my own feet followed, and we both wiped out flat on our backs. I’ve never heard such loud laughter, and I got made fun of for the rest of the year. Don’t worry, my MSN friend still remembers this incident 8 years later.